This is Unbelieveable

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Playoffs? You're Talkin About Playoffs?!?

Now that the Lacrosse season has come to a sweet, sweet end with a win with a trophy from ECU, there are a few things that the team can look forward too with practice and games in the past. For example:

• Nap time has replaced practice on Monday and Wednesday

• Friday afternoons now equal TT adventures

• And most importantly raging hardcore on the turf for flag football playoffs...

This past Sunday, the #2 seeded Thirsty Turtle Swamp Donkeys met The Freeballers on the field after a relaxing bye week. The Donkeys continued their regular season domination of opponents and recorded their first shutout of the year. The offence was a little slow getting started on Sunday under the lights, maybe a little sluggish after the bye. However, the defense was just as solid as it has been all season, preventing a very strong Freeballers offense from scoring a single point.

Both touchdowns by the Swamp Donkeys were scored by quarterback David Griffith, one by land and one by air to wide receiver Brenden Moles. Andrew Sotak also recorded an extra point on a pass that was deflected high into the air and into his steady arms across the goal line. The main success for the Swamp Donkeys this week was their protection of the quarterback. The Freeballer rush was nearly non-existent with strong blocking by Steve Kosiba, Mike Boyd, Ben Yoash, and Ben Cobleigh from the running back position. The Donkeys also found most of their successful plays in the short game with dump-off passes to the running back and linemen. The longest play of the day, however, came on a bomb from David Griffith to Ben Yoash playing as the left wide recover at the end of the game. Yoash battled a lot of contact from the Freeballer cornerback while making the catch down the sideline. The catch came at the end of the game to seal the win for the Swamp Donkeys and advance them to round three of the playoffs.

The defense was more of the same this week, restricting the opposing offence to very short gains. The defense also recorded four sacks on the Freeballer quarterback, who was never able to get into a rhythm with the relentless rush by the Swamp Donkey defensive line. As usual, cornerback Brenden Moles met his gamely quota of two interceptions, both in very dangerous areas of the field with the Freeballers driving toward the end zone. Also, reassuring my belief in God, Nick "Hands-Feet" Heil recorded his first interception of the season off a tipped pass. The whole Swamp Donkey sideline was speechless as they witnessed the miracle take place. With that said, it was safe to say that the Swamp Donkey's defense remains one of the top defensive units in the league, recording multiple takeaways in every game this season.

With the win, the Donkeys only have a three day rest before they play the Super Smash Bros this Wednesday at 10pm. The game is on field 3 of the Comcast Turf where the Swamp Donkeys hope to capitalize on their home field advantage in the match-up. The Super Smash Bros are no pushovers though. Along with being one of the greatest N64 games of all time, they also have put together a strong football team with Captain Falcon at quarterback, and Kirby at wide receiver who seems to suck-up any pass that comes his way, not to mention his incredible hang time. They stand now at 4 and 1 on the season, but it can also be argued that they haven't been tested fully in their games so far. Their wins came against teams that combined have only recorded 5 wins total, 4 of which were recorded by Slappin the Bass who narrowly lost to the Super Smash Bros 16-14 in the regular season. Also, the Super Smash Bros loss came against powerhouse Nitro Explode that shut them out 26-0.

Nevertheless, the Swamp Donkeys look to continue their winning ways past Wednesday and into the 4th round of the playoffs. They enter the match-up with the Super Smash Bros with confidence and experience, a deadly combination on the gridiron and in the bedroom. So come out and support your club lax team at 10pm at Comcast this Wednesday. Sloozies and Dews are always welcome at our games.

Until next time,

NEVER PULL OUT!

-Sotanked aka Born Ready

Club Lax Takes It Home in the Boneyard Classic

Greenville, NC - Home of the ECU (Butt) Pirates - The University of Maryland Terps have ended a string of disappointing tournament finishes. This past weekend the Terps visited Greenville, North Carolina to compete in East Carolina University's annual Boneyard Classic. Club Lacrosse came, saw, and conquered the competition, the fishbowls, and the ladies at ECU. When all was said and done, the Terps came home with a tournament record of 5-0 and a big ole trophy to flaunt.


The Terps arrived safely at the Days Inn in Greenville, Friday evening; it was the opposition that would find the scene dangerous when the Terps took the field Saturday morning. After myself arriving back at the hotel , not so well rested through a thick crowd of rousing Terps laxers, in style and full of Bojangles, and corralling the rest of the team from various locations, the Terps made their way to the amazing ECU intramural sports complex. Six well-kept, bluegrass-sodded fields lay before the hungry team as they prepared for what would be their hardest game of the weekend. The first game for the Terps was against their heated rivals and reigning NCLL national champions, the University of Virginia. Virginia always has a great team and has annually been a thorn in Maryland's side in the past. Saturday was no different; it took a suspenseful overtime goal by attackman Andrew Fisher for the Terps to get their first win against the Cavaliers since their overtime thriller last spring.


UVA turned out to be the only real competition for the Terps on Saturday, as Maryland rolled over their next two opponents, crushing Dirty Dogs Lacrosse and goose-egging Coastal Carolina University 9-0. With a 3-0 record after Saturday, the Terps took the number one seed in the tournament playoff on Sunday. Their first opponent would be the Dukes of James Madison University at high noon. JMU put up a fight, but Maryland put those dogs down like Mike Vick with outstanding face-offs by Dave Balinsky and Andrew Sotak, superb ball control similar to the girl grinding on Jed in his sweatpants and impressive scoring by the Terps high-power offense, and the suffocating defensive effort put forward by the Terrapin defense, the Dukes could never get into any sort of momentum and the Terps were soon headed toward the championship game, once again playing their Virginia rivals from UVA.


From the get-go of the championship game and at Still Life, Maryland looked sharper, stronger and flat-out better than the Cavaliers. Maryland was moving the ball fluidly offensively, and was stopping the relentless UVA offensive attack like the UNCW lax girl on Bruce's late night fun Saturday night. The Terps refused to let up and kept the pressure on UVA keeping true to the never pull out mentality. After a scary assassination attempt by Andrew Barber on the Cavalier's goalie, UVA was forced to put in a backup goalie, who did quite well for the Cavs considering the fact that he hadn't played the position in years. He was still no match for the Terps offensive attack that continued to pour on the goals in the second half of the game. UVA did manage to score a few goals in the second half; however, the Terps were never in any real danger in the game and easily coasted high in the Sky Bar to the win, and the 2009 Boneyard Classic first place trophy.


After going swimming in dozens of fishbowls, the Terps turned their weekend in Greenville into a great success. Having beaten the 2009 NCLL national champs twice now, the Maryland Club Lacrosse team has high hopes for the spring season. The Terps have another tough matchup this week against the team that knocked them out of the playoffs in the first round last year, Navy. After an embarrassing loss at home to the Midshipmen in the spring, Maryland looks to turn the tables this Friday night and continue their win-streak for the fall. This will also be a good test to see how the Terps match-up against the team that dominated them in the playoffs last year.


Everyone is encouraged to come out this Friday to support your Maryland Club Lacrosse team against the Navy Midshipmen. The game time is set for 8:00pm at the Comcast Turf Fields. Bring some friends and some dew and cheer on the Terps as they look for retribution for their last game against Navy last spring.


Until next time,
NEVER PULL OUT!

Especially while getting’ one rubbed out on the dance floorrrrrr

-Sotak out

Week III: Swamp Donkeys Turn it Around in Second Half

The Thirsty Turtle Swamp Donkeys bearing some fresh Muscle Milk swag took on ZBT B! out on the gridiron last night and found themselves in their closest game all season.  After two weeks of complete and utter domination of their opponents, the Swamp Donkeys found themselves in trouble in the first half against a determined ZBT team.  This game was a must win for ZBT, as they were facing elimination from the playoffs with a loss.  The Swamp Donkeys had already earned a spot in the playoffs but they needed to perform well in order to earn a good seeding for the postseason. 

The first half started off very reminiscent of previous weeks with defensive all-star Brendan Moles picking off the very first pass thrown by the ZBT quarterback with an impressive leap over the ZBT receiver.  The offense for the Swamp Donkeys, however, was not its usual self.  The first half was disappointing with a few uncharacteristic interceptions thrown by David Griffith.  Even with the offensive problems the Swamp Donkeys were able to score a touchdown in the first half, but they failed to convert on the extra point attempt. This was not good enough for Griffith, and he was still determined to redeem himself in the second half.

The defense in the first half didn't play badly, but fell victim to terrible luck in the two touchdowns by ZBT.  After some questionable officiating in their favor earlier in one of their offensive drives, ZBT managed to score their first touchdown after an easy interception was bobbled by corner back Nick Hiel in the endzone, landing softly in the hands of a ZBT player.  Their only other touchdown was another lucky one as a lame duck bounced its way off of two Swamp Donkeys into the waiting arms of a ZBT wide receiver.  Other than these two auspicious tallies, the Swamp Donkeys defense returned to its staunch form and held the ZBT squad scoreless for the remainder of the game.

This game was the epitome of "A Tale of Two Halves." The Swamp Donkeys picked up their game in the second half, shutting down the ZBT offense.  Brendan Moles recorded two more interceptions in the second half, making his total three for the game.  The Swamp Donkey defense also forced the ZBT offense to look uncomfortable on the field, unable to gain any sort of momentum against a Swamp Donkey team that was determined to keep their undefeated record intact.

The Donkeys were also able to turn around their offensive woes in the first half with three impressive drives in the second half that ate up clock and led to three second-half scores.  The first of the three consecutive scores was a screen pass from Griffith to Cobleigh who used his signature "Leprechaun Leap" to propel himself into the endzone.  After attempting and failing the two-point conversion, the Swamp Donkeys were still down by two to the ZBT squad when the fourth quarter started.  With the Swamp Donkeys defense stopping ZBT on their next drive, a determined offense took the field for the Swamp Donkeys recording their second consecutive touchdown.  The score came on a pass from Griffith to the center Andrew "Bonesaw" Sotak who demonstrated amazing agility and maneuverability as he spun around one defender and broke the plane of the endzone before the ZBT defense could manage to stop him.  The third touchdown came after Brendan Moles' third interception on the day.  After eating some clock, David Griffith found some space to the outside and ran in for the score, capping off a half where the Swamp Donkeys outscored their opponent 19-0.  As the time ran out, the Swamp Donkeys remained undefeated, and ZBT left the field for the last time this season.

This week the Thirsty Turtle Swamp Donkeys showed amazing resilience after a dismal first half.  It was the first time that the Swamp Donkeys had been down by two scores or had been losing at halftime.  They did not fold, rather they stepped up to the challenge and shut out the ZBT offense in the second half and scored three consecutive touchdowns to bring their record to 3-0 entering the playoffs.  David Griffith showed real leadership and stepped up in the second half of the game, throwing two touchdowns through the air and recording one on the ground.  Brendan Moles continued his record-setting season today recording yet another multi-interception game, making his total for the season nine interceptions in three games, unreal...

The Donkeys now wait to see where they are seeded in the playoffs.  After their first two strong wins and an impressive second half showing in last night's game, they have a pretty large point differential and should be seeded pretty high in the postseason.  The Swamp Donkeys will have to play complete games in the playoffs if they wish to advance to and win the prestigious Intramural Flag Football Championship.  There can be no more first half blunders in the future as they start to play more advanced teams as they work through the playoff bracket.  For now, the Swamp Donkeys remain undefeated as they look forward to the playoffs.  Stay tuned for next week's game time and date.

Until then, NEVER PULL OUT!

Yours Truly,

-Sotak

Week 2: TT Swamp Donkeys in MNFF

Hey guys,

I'm back after a great night with the girls of Theta and a slight hiatus from writing to bring you up to speed on the Thirsty Turtle Swamp Donkeys.  After domination in week one, a similar outcome was the result of the game this past Monday.  The Swamp Donkeys met the Grass Fairies on Comcast turf on an unusually mild October evening this week, but the game was everything but mild.  In Cluck-U terms, the Swamp Donkeys' offense was at the very least Thermo Nuclear.  The Swamp Donkeys were rumblin, stumblin and bumblin down the field on every offensive possession.  The Grass Fairies were unprepared and were simply no match for the juggernaut that is the TT Swamp Donkeys.

Led by Dave Griffith at quarterback, the offense piled on 28 points against the Grass Fairies who had shut out their opponent in week one of the season.  Through the air, on the ground, the Donkeys were unstoppable.  Everyone on the field was a threat and Griffith was able to find everyone with ease.  Every member of the offense had at least one touch, and the Grass Fairies had no chance from the get-go.

If the offense wasn't enough, the defense held the Grass Fairies to a measly 6 points, stopping them on the extra point attempt.  The Swamp Donkeys kept the opposing offense guessing, and even forced the Fairies to switch quarterbacks 2 times in order to get some sort of offensive production.  It was to no avail, as the Swamp Donkey's recorded a pair of interceptions, and put suffocating pressure on the quarterback throughout the game.  As for special teams, team captain Ben Cobleigh had an 80-yard punt return for a touchdown, ducking and weaving through and around defenders, showing surprising speed considering the length of his legs.

Overall, the Swamp Donkeys continued their complete and utter domination of their league, and they look to continue the trend this upcoming Monday, November 2 at 8pm under the lights at Comcast Fields.  The TT Swamp Donkeys will face off against the ZBT B! squad who has a record of one and one after a win this past week against Where's Dan.  ZBT B! lost in week one to the Underdogs, and sit in the middle of the league tied with four other teams.  A lost this week would almost certainly knock them out of the playoffs.  As it stands, the Swamp Donkeys are the only undefeated team in MensB7 and can seal a spot in the payoffs with a win this week.

So come out and support the team with some friends this Monday at the Comcast Turf Fields.

Until next time, as always,

NEVER PULL OUT!

-Sotak (aka dancing fool)

Club Lax Hits The Gridiron

     There was a crispness to the night air as the Thirsty Turtle Swamp Donkeys took the field for Monday Night Flag Football. The TT Swamp Donkeys, a carefully picked crew of all-stars from the Terps Club Lacrosse team, romped the competition, scoring four touchdowns to their opponent's one, the final score being 30-6. The younger Terps Laxers on WASP, the opposing team, although scoring on their opening drive to take the early lead, were no match for the bigger, faster, stronger Swamp Donkeys. The Donkeys scored four unanswered touchdowns following the opening score by WASP, tallying two interceptions and preventing the WASP offense from getting into any sort of rhythm.


     Led at quarterback by Andrew Barber in the first half and David Griffith in the second half, the Swamp Donkey's offense was near-unstoppable. In fact, their first play from scrimmage was a pass play to Benjamin Yoash for an 80 yard touchdown. Yoash, picking up a great down-field block by center Andrew Sotak, went nearly untouched into the end zone. In the second half, Griffith picked up where Barber left off with impressive scrambling ability and a cool pocket-presence. The Swamp Donkeys scored three of their touchdowns in the second half: a long fade route to free-agent pickup Brendan Moles, a dash up the sideline resulting in an impressive dive into the end zone by captain/ leprechaun Ben Cobleigh, and Steve Kosiba scoring from the lineman spot, David Griffith even rushed one in up the middle for an extra point. The offense of the Swamp Donkeys looked impressive, and it will be hard for any team to find a weakness in the powerhouse of a unit.
    
     Defense was nearly as impressive as the offense, allowing only one score for the whole game. Led by Brendan Moles' two interceptions, and a defensive backfield that allowed no passes over 15 yards, the Donkeys kept the quarterback of WASP guessing. Another big factor was the pressure put on the QB by Steven Kosiba, Mike Boyd, Ben Cobleigh, and Andrew Sotak. The opposing quarterback was never comfortable in the pocket and was forced to throw dump-off passes and scramble out of the pocket. Once the Swamp Donkey's defense started to pick up the dump-off routes, the WASP offense was like a car without wheels. Where's it goin? Nowhere. It's going to be hard for opposing offenses to find any success against the suffocating defense that the Swamp Donkeys put on the field.

     The next game for the TT Swamp Donkeys, will be next Monday night against the Grass Fairies, who are making the trip from San Francisco, CA to try to keep their undefeated season going against the Swamp Donkeys of College Park. The Grass Fairies won their first game against Where's Dan 14-0, so they are no pushover. Their interesting tactics of making the opposing team very uncomfortable on the field always makes them a dangerous team to play. However, they will have to limit the amount of "illegal touching" penalties next week, as it has been a problem in the past for them. The Swamp Donkeys of course will bring agility, mobility, and hostility to the field and are the strong favorites to win next Monday. Game time is at 8pm on October 26, so get a babysitter for the kids, grab a few Mountain Dews and make your way over to Comcast Fields for a good time.


Until next time, remember...

NEVER PULL OUT!


-Sotak

Lax Stats

Fall 2009 Statistics - Updated 10/13/09
Opponent	W/L	Terps' Score	Opponent's Score
Cornell	W	6	5
AACC	W
Wisconsin	W
West Chester	W
Salisbury	L	5	6
Towson	W	9	8
WVU Alumni	W	11	3
WVU	W	12	2
Loyola	W	6	5
Individual Statistics
Player	#	Goals	Assists
Fisher	8	8	2
Reymann	37	6	5
Kaminsky	20	6	3
Griffith	42	3	3
Cobleigh	5	3	2
Smalley	25	2	1
Norris	27	2
Kelly	21	2
McCord	18	2
Sotak	28	1	1
Guy	30	1	1
Konkolis	33	1	1
Barber	12	1
Yoash	41	1
Lopez	30	1
Kuka	32	1
*Please note that statistics for AACC, Wisconsin, and West Chester are not available

WVU Wrap-up

Hey Everyone,

We're back in College Park now after a wild and wonderful weekend in West Virginia.  The Terps Club Lacrosse team cleaned up the competition, going 4-0 between Saturday and Sunday.  Here's a recap of the weekend for your information and enjoyment.

Playing on Mountaineer Field, the Terps, fresh from what seemed to me as about a 30 minute drive Friday evening (Time Traveled the sh*t out of that Tahoe), a night out in Morgantown, and the ever-classy Friends Inn, started out the day on Saturday with a close game against Towson.  When the final whistle blew, Maryland had won the game by one goal (9-8).  Later in the day, the Terps faced a humorous but lackluster team in the WVU Alumni.  With the Alumni heckling Kosiba and flirting with the wonderful Terps' stat girls Sheri and Rebekah, Maryland easily took care of business to make their record for the weekend 2-0.  Done for the day, the team looked for some entertainment in downtown Morgantown once again.

Saturday night could be described by some as a wild, dew-filled night, by others a description could be hard to come up with considering the memory loss.  I'll go through a couple highlights, feel free to add your own in the comment section...

• My boy Randal "She Flicked The Tip" Niles gettin lucky and having to be picked up 15 minutes before game time on Sunday

• Mark Gonzalez, unbeknownst to himself, making it rain all over Morgantown with his rubber-banded wad of landscaping cash
  

• WVU Alumni making moves on Rebekah at Lazy Lizard and Bent Willy's

• Some sloozy at Bent Willy's lifting her leg above her head on the dance floor and then proceeding to play air-guitar on said leg.  Naturally, the girl turned out to be a sister of one of the players on the WVU alumni team, and I was told that she was being "on her best behavior."
  

• Cramming 12 people into the Tahoe at the end of the night to bring everyone back to the hotel

• Fat Bitches, all over the place

...Just to name a few.  It's safe to say that the night was a success: no arrests, no people lost, no deaths.

Anyways, after a restless three to four hour sleep the team was ready for more lacrosse on Sunday morning.  Lucky for WVU, the Terps' first opponent, Maryland was still somewhat tired for the majority of the game.  Some of the starters took a seat to allow the young guns to come in and show the team what they were made of.  It turned out that the last five dews from Saturday night didn't make too much of a difference as the Mountaineers struggled to stop the unrelenting Maryland attack and were hardly able to stay within ten goals of the Terrapins for the majority of the game.  In the end, Maryland finished another definitive win over a team that they were expected to have have beaten as handily as they did.

To finish off the weekend, the Terps took the field at 11:30am on Sunday against Loyola.  While the Terps broke out to an early lead (5-2), the Greyhounds managed to tie it up by in the second half of the game.  Regulation ended with the two teams knotted-up with the score of (6-6).  Overtime began with a strong attack from the Loyola Greyhounds getting off slew of shots against Adam Davis, a new goalie for the Terps this fall.  Davis held his own and made number of saves in the sudden death overtime to force a second overtime period.  The second overtime period was sloppy for both teams, and it remained tied through another five minute period.  Determined to give the fans their money's worth, both teams took to the field for the third and final overtime period that was riddled with drama.  Shortly into the third period Loyola was on the attacking front barraging the young Davis with a number of shots that he handled with ease.  Then the unthinkable happened when a shot slipped away from Davis and trickled into the edge of the goal.  As the cheers from the Loyola sideline began to roar, the referees ran in with whistles blowing calling off the goal due to a crease violation on the Loyola attackman that poked the ball in.  With the sidelines back in order, play resumed with the Terps in control of the ball.  Shortly after the scare on the defensive end of the field, a pass found its way to the stick of Brett Kaminsky who was waiting on the crease on the offensive end of the field.  Immediately, three Loyola defenders had surrounded Kaminsky who looked as if he had nowhere to go.  Then, in a miraculous finish, Kaminsky scored with a sudden behind-the-back goal to give Maryland the win, and to keep the Terps undefeated for the weekend.

Congratulations to the entire team for a successful weekend of lacrosse.  The next game for the Terps is this upcoming Friday, October 16 at the University of Delaware.  Game time is scheduled for 6:45pm against the Blue Hens.

I will follow up this post tomorrow with a detailed listing of statistics from this past weekend.  Thank you Rebekah and Sheri for keeping stats, and putting up with our shenanigans for the weekend, even though they are quite cheeky and fun.


As always, remember to Never Pull Out.

BE THE BEST!!

-Sotak

Pics and Videos from Fall Brawl

Hey guys,

Just thought I would post up all the links for the pics and videos from the Fall Brawl.

Fall Brawl Pics

UMD vs. Salisbury

UMD vs. Ithica

I will post more videos and pictures as I get them.

Enjoy

WVU Invitational Tournament Preview

The Terps Club Lacrosse team travels this weekend to Morgantown, West Virginia, home of the West Virginia Mountaineers and cheep cases of Keystone Light. We are looking at temperatures in the 50's and rain on Friday into Saturday morning. It could spell sloppy lacrosse conditions early on Saturday. However the weather should clear up around noon on Saturday and the remainder of the weekend should be free and clear. The first big trip for the Terps is also the team's second tournament of the fall season. The first tournament being the Annual Fall Brawl at Anne Arundel Community College. The Terps took second place at the Fall Brawl behind their heated rivals from Salisbury. Always a strong match-up, the Terps were slightly edged out in sudden death overtime 6-5.

At Mountaineer Field this weekend, the Terrapins face Beltway rival Towson at 11:30am on Saturday morning. Towson has not been a real threat to the Terps in the recent past, but no one can be underestimated in this league. Following the game versus the Tigers, the Terps face the WVU Alumni team who has been assembled from past West Virginia club teams for the Mountaineer Invitational. The Terps will then have to wait till Sunday at 9:00am to face the current Mountaineer Club Lacrosse team. Finally, the Terps finish up the weekend with a match-up against Loyola College based outside of Baltimore, MD.

With some generally easier opponents this weekend the Terps are looking to get some definitive wins under their belt after some close games and the disappointing loss in overtime to Salisbury in the Fall Brawl. There are many new players that have come out this year, and it will be interesting to see who will step up and earn a steady spot on the playing roster. The Terps also look for some experience before a key match-up the following weekend against another strong opponent, the University of Delaware.

Stay tuned for a WVU wrap-up on Monday with scores and stats from the weekend.

GO TERPS!
BE THE BEST!


-Sotak