Goin Classy With Bow Ties

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Playoffs? You're Talkin About Playoffs?!?

Now that the Lacrosse season has come to a sweet, sweet end with a win with a trophy from ECU, there are a few things that the team can look forward too with practice and games in the past. For example:

• Nap time has replaced practice on Monday and Wednesday

• Friday afternoons now equal TT adventures

• And most importantly raging hardcore on the turf for flag football playoffs...

This past Sunday, the #2 seeded Thirsty Turtle Swamp Donkeys met The Freeballers on the field after a relaxing bye week. The Donkeys continued their regular season domination of opponents and recorded their first shutout of the year. The offence was a little slow getting started on Sunday under the lights, maybe a little sluggish after the bye. However, the defense was just as solid as it has been all season, preventing a very strong Freeballers offense from scoring a single point.

Both touchdowns by the Swamp Donkeys were scored by quarterback David Griffith, one by land and one by air to wide receiver Brenden Moles. Andrew Sotak also recorded an extra point on a pass that was deflected high into the air and into his steady arms across the goal line. The main success for the Swamp Donkeys this week was their protection of the quarterback. The Freeballer rush was nearly non-existent with strong blocking by Steve Kosiba, Mike Boyd, Ben Yoash, and Ben Cobleigh from the running back position. The Donkeys also found most of their successful plays in the short game with dump-off passes to the running back and linemen. The longest play of the day, however, came on a bomb from David Griffith to Ben Yoash playing as the left wide recover at the end of the game. Yoash battled a lot of contact from the Freeballer cornerback while making the catch down the sideline. The catch came at the end of the game to seal the win for the Swamp Donkeys and advance them to round three of the playoffs.

The defense was more of the same this week, restricting the opposing offence to very short gains. The defense also recorded four sacks on the Freeballer quarterback, who was never able to get into a rhythm with the relentless rush by the Swamp Donkey defensive line. As usual, cornerback Brenden Moles met his gamely quota of two interceptions, both in very dangerous areas of the field with the Freeballers driving toward the end zone. Also, reassuring my belief in God, Nick "Hands-Feet" Heil recorded his first interception of the season off a tipped pass. The whole Swamp Donkey sideline was speechless as they witnessed the miracle take place. With that said, it was safe to say that the Swamp Donkey's defense remains one of the top defensive units in the league, recording multiple takeaways in every game this season.

With the win, the Donkeys only have a three day rest before they play the Super Smash Bros this Wednesday at 10pm. The game is on field 3 of the Comcast Turf where the Swamp Donkeys hope to capitalize on their home field advantage in the match-up. The Super Smash Bros are no pushovers though. Along with being one of the greatest N64 games of all time, they also have put together a strong football team with Captain Falcon at quarterback, and Kirby at wide receiver who seems to suck-up any pass that comes his way, not to mention his incredible hang time. They stand now at 4 and 1 on the season, but it can also be argued that they haven't been tested fully in their games so far. Their wins came against teams that combined have only recorded 5 wins total, 4 of which were recorded by Slappin the Bass who narrowly lost to the Super Smash Bros 16-14 in the regular season. Also, the Super Smash Bros loss came against powerhouse Nitro Explode that shut them out 26-0.

Nevertheless, the Swamp Donkeys look to continue their winning ways past Wednesday and into the 4th round of the playoffs. They enter the match-up with the Super Smash Bros with confidence and experience, a deadly combination on the gridiron and in the bedroom. So come out and support your club lax team at 10pm at Comcast this Wednesday. Sloozies and Dews are always welcome at our games.

Until next time,

NEVER PULL OUT!

-Sotanked aka Born Ready

Club Lax Takes It Home in the Boneyard Classic

Greenville, NC - Home of the ECU (Butt) Pirates - The University of Maryland Terps have ended a string of disappointing tournament finishes. This past weekend the Terps visited Greenville, North Carolina to compete in East Carolina University's annual Boneyard Classic. Club Lacrosse came, saw, and conquered the competition, the fishbowls, and the ladies at ECU. When all was said and done, the Terps came home with a tournament record of 5-0 and a big ole trophy to flaunt.


The Terps arrived safely at the Days Inn in Greenville, Friday evening; it was the opposition that would find the scene dangerous when the Terps took the field Saturday morning. After myself arriving back at the hotel , not so well rested through a thick crowd of rousing Terps laxers, in style and full of Bojangles, and corralling the rest of the team from various locations, the Terps made their way to the amazing ECU intramural sports complex. Six well-kept, bluegrass-sodded fields lay before the hungry team as they prepared for what would be their hardest game of the weekend. The first game for the Terps was against their heated rivals and reigning NCLL national champions, the University of Virginia. Virginia always has a great team and has annually been a thorn in Maryland's side in the past. Saturday was no different; it took a suspenseful overtime goal by attackman Andrew Fisher for the Terps to get their first win against the Cavaliers since their overtime thriller last spring.


UVA turned out to be the only real competition for the Terps on Saturday, as Maryland rolled over their next two opponents, crushing Dirty Dogs Lacrosse and goose-egging Coastal Carolina University 9-0. With a 3-0 record after Saturday, the Terps took the number one seed in the tournament playoff on Sunday. Their first opponent would be the Dukes of James Madison University at high noon. JMU put up a fight, but Maryland put those dogs down like Mike Vick with outstanding face-offs by Dave Balinsky and Andrew Sotak, superb ball control similar to the girl grinding on Jed in his sweatpants and impressive scoring by the Terps high-power offense, and the suffocating defensive effort put forward by the Terrapin defense, the Dukes could never get into any sort of momentum and the Terps were soon headed toward the championship game, once again playing their Virginia rivals from UVA.


From the get-go of the championship game and at Still Life, Maryland looked sharper, stronger and flat-out better than the Cavaliers. Maryland was moving the ball fluidly offensively, and was stopping the relentless UVA offensive attack like the UNCW lax girl on Bruce's late night fun Saturday night. The Terps refused to let up and kept the pressure on UVA keeping true to the never pull out mentality. After a scary assassination attempt by Andrew Barber on the Cavalier's goalie, UVA was forced to put in a backup goalie, who did quite well for the Cavs considering the fact that he hadn't played the position in years. He was still no match for the Terps offensive attack that continued to pour on the goals in the second half of the game. UVA did manage to score a few goals in the second half; however, the Terps were never in any real danger in the game and easily coasted high in the Sky Bar to the win, and the 2009 Boneyard Classic first place trophy.


After going swimming in dozens of fishbowls, the Terps turned their weekend in Greenville into a great success. Having beaten the 2009 NCLL national champs twice now, the Maryland Club Lacrosse team has high hopes for the spring season. The Terps have another tough matchup this week against the team that knocked them out of the playoffs in the first round last year, Navy. After an embarrassing loss at home to the Midshipmen in the spring, Maryland looks to turn the tables this Friday night and continue their win-streak for the fall. This will also be a good test to see how the Terps match-up against the team that dominated them in the playoffs last year.


Everyone is encouraged to come out this Friday to support your Maryland Club Lacrosse team against the Navy Midshipmen. The game time is set for 8:00pm at the Comcast Turf Fields. Bring some friends and some dew and cheer on the Terps as they look for retribution for their last game against Navy last spring.


Until next time,
NEVER PULL OUT!

Especially while getting’ one rubbed out on the dance floorrrrrr

-Sotak out

Week III: Swamp Donkeys Turn it Around in Second Half

The Thirsty Turtle Swamp Donkeys bearing some fresh Muscle Milk swag took on ZBT B! out on the gridiron last night and found themselves in their closest game all season.  After two weeks of complete and utter domination of their opponents, the Swamp Donkeys found themselves in trouble in the first half against a determined ZBT team.  This game was a must win for ZBT, as they were facing elimination from the playoffs with a loss.  The Swamp Donkeys had already earned a spot in the playoffs but they needed to perform well in order to earn a good seeding for the postseason. 

The first half started off very reminiscent of previous weeks with defensive all-star Brendan Moles picking off the very first pass thrown by the ZBT quarterback with an impressive leap over the ZBT receiver.  The offense for the Swamp Donkeys, however, was not its usual self.  The first half was disappointing with a few uncharacteristic interceptions thrown by David Griffith.  Even with the offensive problems the Swamp Donkeys were able to score a touchdown in the first half, but they failed to convert on the extra point attempt. This was not good enough for Griffith, and he was still determined to redeem himself in the second half.

The defense in the first half didn't play badly, but fell victim to terrible luck in the two touchdowns by ZBT.  After some questionable officiating in their favor earlier in one of their offensive drives, ZBT managed to score their first touchdown after an easy interception was bobbled by corner back Nick Hiel in the endzone, landing softly in the hands of a ZBT player.  Their only other touchdown was another lucky one as a lame duck bounced its way off of two Swamp Donkeys into the waiting arms of a ZBT wide receiver.  Other than these two auspicious tallies, the Swamp Donkeys defense returned to its staunch form and held the ZBT squad scoreless for the remainder of the game.

This game was the epitome of "A Tale of Two Halves." The Swamp Donkeys picked up their game in the second half, shutting down the ZBT offense.  Brendan Moles recorded two more interceptions in the second half, making his total three for the game.  The Swamp Donkey defense also forced the ZBT offense to look uncomfortable on the field, unable to gain any sort of momentum against a Swamp Donkey team that was determined to keep their undefeated record intact.

The Donkeys were also able to turn around their offensive woes in the first half with three impressive drives in the second half that ate up clock and led to three second-half scores.  The first of the three consecutive scores was a screen pass from Griffith to Cobleigh who used his signature "Leprechaun Leap" to propel himself into the endzone.  After attempting and failing the two-point conversion, the Swamp Donkeys were still down by two to the ZBT squad when the fourth quarter started.  With the Swamp Donkeys defense stopping ZBT on their next drive, a determined offense took the field for the Swamp Donkeys recording their second consecutive touchdown.  The score came on a pass from Griffith to the center Andrew "Bonesaw" Sotak who demonstrated amazing agility and maneuverability as he spun around one defender and broke the plane of the endzone before the ZBT defense could manage to stop him.  The third touchdown came after Brendan Moles' third interception on the day.  After eating some clock, David Griffith found some space to the outside and ran in for the score, capping off a half where the Swamp Donkeys outscored their opponent 19-0.  As the time ran out, the Swamp Donkeys remained undefeated, and ZBT left the field for the last time this season.

This week the Thirsty Turtle Swamp Donkeys showed amazing resilience after a dismal first half.  It was the first time that the Swamp Donkeys had been down by two scores or had been losing at halftime.  They did not fold, rather they stepped up to the challenge and shut out the ZBT offense in the second half and scored three consecutive touchdowns to bring their record to 3-0 entering the playoffs.  David Griffith showed real leadership and stepped up in the second half of the game, throwing two touchdowns through the air and recording one on the ground.  Brendan Moles continued his record-setting season today recording yet another multi-interception game, making his total for the season nine interceptions in three games, unreal...

The Donkeys now wait to see where they are seeded in the playoffs.  After their first two strong wins and an impressive second half showing in last night's game, they have a pretty large point differential and should be seeded pretty high in the postseason.  The Swamp Donkeys will have to play complete games in the playoffs if they wish to advance to and win the prestigious Intramural Flag Football Championship.  There can be no more first half blunders in the future as they start to play more advanced teams as they work through the playoff bracket.  For now, the Swamp Donkeys remain undefeated as they look forward to the playoffs.  Stay tuned for next week's game time and date.

Until then, NEVER PULL OUT!

Yours Truly,

-Sotak